The moment your son is able to identify the persons he considered important in his life, interactions of groups and the formation of social hierarchies will be slowly comprehended and stored into his young mind for further processing and interpretation. One best way to accept and understand hierarchies, from a parental perspective, is to recognize their natural occurrence through basic social structures like family, schools, and teams. The child’s relationship to his parent is crucial to the development of such a kind of awareness that requires the child to totally submit to parental authority.
Which does not mean a parental dictatorship should be established also, depriving your child the freedom he deserves to enjoy, and leaving no room for him to make his own decisions and personal choices matter. But it is, rather, all about making your son recognize the fact that you have the final say in important matters, being the commander-in-chief of the family, and the one to make decisions regarding his well-being. Still, your child has every right to complain and explain whatever it is he thinks can be good or bad for him and you have to deal with that kind of thing like a true diplomat.
Once a parental authority is weakened or lost, it is difficult to gain it back. That’s why it is important to take every little opportunity seriously that contributes to the establishment of natural hierarchies. By simply allowing your child to have too much power to call the shots, you’re on your way to getting ignored or even ousted.
A child has the tendency, when you let him, to push boundaries further and further and it will take longer a time for you to bring his reasonable behavior back. As your child comes to like what his newly acquired power or control can do for him, he then experiments to try leveraging such a power for power’s sake. The outcome is easy to predict, learning from history in the politics of nations can also be true in how the family can function as a political unit, social chaos takes over when every interaction is marked by manipulation.
The importance of having a strong leadership in the family should not be taken lightly. Of course, it does not always mean, for a father trying to establish an authority figure, implementing strict rules, rigidity, and punishment. Leadership can be defined in many ways but, as a father who governs a family, it is about how you treat your own sons and daughters including your wife and the way you solve problems together.
It is about clearly supporting and articulating, through your words and actions, the values of the family. You have to consistently make your constituents feel your love and compassion. Most importantly, a good father and as a leader is one who has a positive attitude and conveys his belief in his sons and daughters without pressuring them.