The importance of effective communication between parents and children

A one-on-one talk with my son Nathaniel in this charcoal-sketch themed picture.

Effective communication is a process by which one person is able to maintain the dynamic connection happening between him and the other person and vice versa. Once effective communication is established between you and the other person or of one group of people to another, empathy comes along naturally allowing you and the other person to participate in the shared experience of joy, and even the pain the other person is feeling. It is about communicating well and working together to understand each other.

Communicating well, by the way, is to effectively deliver the exchange of information, meaning, and feelings of a particular person towards the other, in both the verbal and the non-verbal aspects of it. The question as to whether or not good communications alone can solve problems or resolve issues should be debated over and again. But one thing is for sure, though, anyone who lacks these skills cannot solve problems or resolve issues in the first place.

In the case with parent-child relationship, effective communication is of the utmost importance as the way you talk and listen to your child can have a profound effect on his personality and general well-being. Every word you say is like a strand of thread weaving your child’s identity. Everything you do counts, so that even your facial expressions, like a spell you’re weaving about your child, he will come to experience as something to enmesh him like a spider’s web.

One best way to communicate to your child is to make him feel that every word he says is making sense at all to you. It’s about the appreciation of the worth, the reality of who he is in his own frame of reference as you set aside yours. In that way, you are sending him a message that his way of looking at things is approved by you.

Qualifying your child’s experience does not always mean you have to necessarily agree with him or that his personal thoughts and opinions should as well reflect that of your own. Rather, it is about the total submission of yourself to the center of what is the truth as your child tries to embrace his own interpretation of reality. When you allow your child to meet his basic needs to express himself, you’re validating him in the best possible way.

When you and your child is having a one-on-one talk, no matter what the topic is, it holds both of you towards the center. The purpose of a dialogue is for one person to initiate the discussion while the other person understands what that person is trying to convey and vice versa. To engage in a dialogue with your child is one way you can understand him better.

Learning to dialogue and to stay with it until such a point where emphatic connection between you and your child has been reached, you’re doing more than just a dialogue with him. You’re actually teaching your child how to communicate by showing to him that you are ready to listen aside from expressing your appreciation for his efforts. It sure will not only help you grow as a parent and as a person but as well to give you an insight about how you must connect with your child.

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