Becoming a parent can be tough and challenging. There’s a lot of work to do and situations to deal with involving everything about your children, job, spouse, including your own inabilities and inadequacies as well. Yet, it is comforting to remind yourself that, in the end, in spite of it all, parenthood is one of the most noble of jobs you could have and the most rewarding of experiences you may undergo as well.
Children give parents a lot of latitude; they become attached to their parents and love them even though their own parents are flawed and their parenting is not perfect. Parents can learn a lot from their own children. Here are ten, just ten, of the many things parents should avoid thinking or believing about their child:
- A parent must avoid seeing his or her child as an extension of himself/herself.
- A parent must avoid believing that his or her reality is the only true reality as this will confuse parental authority and responsibility with godlikeness.
- A parent must avoid believing that the child’s experience is not valid unless it is congruent with his own.
- A parent must avoid believing he or she is responding to the child’s behavior when, in fact, he or she is usually responding to something that happened to himself/herself in the past.
- A parent must avoid believing or assuming that the child has the same information he or she has.
- A parent must avoid believing that all children are the same or alike and is unmindful that they develop in stages.
- A parent must avoid believing that it is her or his duty to shape his or her child in such a way that the child’s behavior reflects directly on her or him.
- A parent must avoid believing that every conflict happening between parent and child could arise because of something the child is doing wrong and does not see his or her part in the difficulties.
- A parent must avoid seeing the parental role as something that’s fixed and the child’s as pliable, leaving no room for the parent to learn from his or her child.
- A parent must avoid projecting unacknowledged aspects of himself/herself onto his or her child as restrictions, attributes, or wishes. Actually, what a parent is rejecting in his or her child, he or she had previously imprisoned or buried in his or her own self.