In raising kids, it is important for parents to know what to do to become a good parent. They must be good role models in the first place, of course. Aside from unconditional love and complete nourishment they can give to them, children also need sufficient attention and stimulation which is to start from the day of conception and onward.
The parents are responsible for everything that contributes to the development and growth of their children. What it is they can do and provide for them, it must be their best. There’s no settling for anything less in here. After all, it’s your children’s overall well-being that’s at stake.
But there are times, for some parents, when what they think was the best they can do for their kids is actually not good enough. And as children begin to encounter people outside the family, the situation may even become worse especially if the people that they were mingling with are the wrong ones. How are you going to remedy all of that as a parent and bring your children back into the fold?
Let me remind everyone that parenting is about the responsibility of teaching children and to equip them with everything they need to have to grow into the best adults that they can be. It involves a lot of nurturing to be done on your part as you come to find ways channeling their natural energy and curiosity into positive, useful, productive, motivated, and desirable learning experiences. These are just what a good parent does and, he probably might yet be asking the good Lord at some point of his life, still not enough?
The point is not why parents fail at parenting despite doing what they think is the right thing to be done. But failure to accept a failure is one such of a thing. Most parents fail to recognize the fact that failure, as well as making mistakes, are a natural part of the process of life, growth, and learning.
One of the main objectives of this writing is to help parents encourage their kids to freely enjoy doing their personal best instead of being the best of everything. You are going to build their confidence by simply beginning to show interest in affirming their individual worth as a person without making comparisons between them and others. You have to parent your children in such a way that you’re learning to lean towards them than away from them. Conscious parenting, if I may call it.
Approach # 1
KNOWING THE DIFFERENCES, SEEING WHAT CONNECTS
You may find it a little easy to understand about the phrase “knowing the differences, seeing what connects” is often misunderstood in a lot of ways by most people. One thing is common though, senses are involved in here. This is the basics of parenting and you can’t be a good a parent without using this insightful approach in the first place.
If you’re going to paraphrase it, it conveys a very powerful message: What’s making you different from one another is why you are connected together in many ways. Connection is the way how all things in creation are programmed to do and you can’t do something about it. But as a parent, your connection to your sons and daughters is simply unquestionable and perhaps one of the keys to unlock the door of successful parenting.
People may differ a lot from other people but they all share the same need for love, respect, encouragement, mercy, compassion, hope, and many more. Each person is unique and to further support about such a fact, no identical twins are truly alike. Twins don’t share the same fingerprints and even their irises differ in some ways.
Each child is designed to feel such a strong sense of desire for connection as he continues to undergo the different stages of growth and development. Failure for your child to evolve successfully through these stages of development could pose a major problem he will encounter in his adulthood. Conscious parenting is to simply meet your child’s needs as he tries to venture through each of these developmental stages.
This can be possible if you’re eager to walk the extra mile that leads you to develop a sense of awareness about the unique needs of your sons and daughters. You are tasked to participate in your child’s point of view, whatever that is, and to turn it into something he can draw a lot of strength from as he connects back to you.
In overcoming failures, you must say to your child that failure is a natural thing. No one goes throughout life unscathed. Each person, at some point of his life, is nursing his own deficiency and defeat. As long as there are parents who are willing to meet their children’s need and to honor and value each one of them as a separate person, is why these children have already thrived.
Approach # 2
KNOW THAT FAILURES ARE ONLY TEMPORARY
People who were able to overcome obstacles and difficulties of life have one thing in common: Inspiration. It might be a goal, a person, or an advocacy. It was very unlikely for anyone to possess such a kind of courage, determination, and perseverance in surviving an ordeal without having something or someone he can draw a lot of strength from. He probably may have failed so many times already, but the fact that he keeps going yet is truly amazing.
Parents like you, and anyone else, are not perfect. If someone claims he is then he was absolutely lying because, in the world that we’re living in, there’s no such thing as perfection. Everything is all about taking the chance to either improve or deteriorate.
You should be the first person in your child’s life to successfully convince him that failures are only temporary. You should instill a sense of optimism in his young mind. But how can you teach him about such a thing?
Optimism is something you will not get instantly and infuse into your system so things could go as smoothly as you have wished. It has to be learned and earned through proper practice. Your children must know that failure is real and that it is not something to cause such a so much worry. People learn from their mistakes and every failure is an opportunity to improve.
It is your duty as a parent to take delight in your child’s high performances but avoid criticism when he otherwise performed them poorly. Instead of criticizing, engage him in an intentional dialogue that aims to preserve his own sense of worth. Bear in mind that every time you walk that extra mile for the best interests of your kids, you are doing it all right and well as a parent. Be proactive, intentional, and dynamic in your approach.
Of course, it has to start from you. You cannot convince your kids to listen to your advices if your attitude is, in itself, questionable in the first place. You’re the role model, in case you forgot. You had to set a good example through you that would remind your sons and daughters anywhere they go and wherever life may take them that optimism is a tool that enables anyone to overcome failures.
Approach # 3
ENCOURAGE AND SUPPORT THEIR SENSE OF SECURITY
One of the best ways to keep children motivated is through the encouragement their parents are fueling out of their young, curious minds. Young children, and most particularly toddlers, are naturally curious or inquisitive. They are very eager to know everything that catches their attention.
As your child goes to explore the things around him, make sure you’re there at his side to accommodate his questioning. And he will have a lot you need to give the right answers or explanations for. Giving him the opportunity to inquire and explore and you’re there serving to encourage his questioning, he will continue to observe and wonder, and connects to you in a stronger way possible throughout life.
But it’s not always about your child asking you tons of questions you need to provide with answers, you as well have a duty to fulfill by asking him questions. You have to consciously interact through him in a positive way. By asking him simple questions about the ordinary things of everyday life, you’re on your way to discovering what he’s really thinking about. His current level of reasoning will give you a clue about the machinery of his consciousness.
Give your child enough space and time to explore the things around him but see to it that, while you’re giving him the green light, you’re there ready to support, protect, and guide. Exploration can also make your child to blindly take the wrong, dangerous turns if you’re not careful enough.
Conscious parenting is allowing your child to experience new things in such a way that you’re also connecting with him as he learns to express his unique self through the relationship both of you were establishing. If you’re helping your sons and daughters, in your own little but honest way, to develop the basic skills of asking questions, investigate, and draw conclusive truths, this interaction and connection happening between you and them, it makes sense to think you are the conscious parent your children deserve to have.
Approach # 4
BUILD THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS
A few days ago, I came across a quote by which I forgot the name of its author. The quote says that love is not about energy or an abstract ideal but the quality of a right relationship. Do you agree with it?
I can agree with the message the quote is trying to convey. But love, which is about building a relationship with the person other than your own self, can also be considered energy as well as an abstract ideal. You may or may not be aware of it, all things in creation builds relationships with each other. It was made possible through connections and interactions. That’s how things must function in default.
Husbands and wives enjoy the privilege of having the convenience of a long-term commitment. It is through such a bonding and interaction that they feel healed for whatever wounds each of them must be carrying from the past. Think for a moment how you can relate it well, in your experience as a parent, with the way you’re building your relationship with your children.
As a parent, one of the most important things you can do is to support your child’s eagerness to learn how to learn. Motivate him to learn to explore new things but also keep the learning process emotionally safety. And when all has been tried and done and things don’t work out in your favor, a good, determined, and conscious parent knows what to do to increase the chance of success next time.