Children are, naturally and in fact, trusting. What you do, as a parent, however, could either reinforce that trust or break it down. One surefire way to get trust from anyone is by earning it.
You could earn the trust of someone by listening and understanding him or her without judgement. You could earn trust by being genuine in your responses, when you verify your understanding by asking questions. You earn trust by doing exactly what you say you would do.
Trust is one of the most important factors in a successful relationship. In the parent-child relationship, parents earn trust by making their child feeling safe and secure when they focus on him or her. But there a lot of ways earning it. Allow me to share to you four, yes, just four but important tips on how to make your children trust you for support, for love, and for care:
LISTEN TO THEM
Of course, you really have to. But it’s not just all about listening to them when they want to tell you what stories they could say or when they want you to know all the details of their day. You also have to hear, most importantly, to what your kids are not saying.
Once you have an idea what it is your child could not say directly or open up to you, then it’s your turn to break the ice and carry him into such a conversation that would make him or her feel comfortable to say what she or he is afraid of saying or sharing in the first place. You must be cordial doing it, yes, just like a friend sharing something to a confidante. Chances are if you don’t have ears to listen to what they say, you would be missing the opportunity of learning about and teaching them. And when that happens, there’s not much point in talking to them at all in the first place.
ALWAYS MAKE THEM FEEL COMFORTABLE WHEN THEY’RE WITH YOU
Most children, especially when they have something negative they want to open up to their parents for help, are afraid they would be creating an even bigger problem by doing so. This is the perfect time for you, as a parent, to prove you could be trusted. Take time to listen to their problems or encourage them to speak up and offer what best solution you had without losing your cool.
SHOW THEM YOU’RE INTERESTED
This is supposed to be simple and easy task yet most parents find it to be just as hard. You had to make sure your kids could see it in you, within you, and right through you, about your genuine interest in them and in what they do. Interact with them, recognize and respect their feelings, and teach them how to relate to you.
BE THE BRIDGE THAT GAPS
Be updated. Your children are in a different age and time, with different experiences, needs, environment, problems, and challenges than what you were having in your own childhood. You are the one who should be adjusting to them. If it is going to be something that summons you to be current and updated with, for example, information and technologies, then so be it.