Did you know that a child-centered parenting is a threat to a successful family life? I’m sure many a parent, including myself, have been into this, in one way or another, at some point of their lives. The following are five dangers closely associated with this style of family government:
- Child-centered parenting could be disastrous in such a way that it attacks the husband-wife relationship by way of reducing its practical significance. In a married life, neither men nor women could lose themselves. One of the truths about marriage is that it forces revelation. It makes a man or a wife to reveal about himself or herself for what he or she is.
Child-centered parenting is such that it wrongly authorizes one or the other to pull away. To try to avoid the truth about one’s self, he or she may conveniently find in the name of motherhood and/or fatherhood a more suitable or pleasing image. Whenever you pull away from marriage, no matter how noble such a goal is, you’re leaving your accountability, which is your mate. Your kids deserve the best from the two of you.
- Child-centered parenting could reverse the natural process of moral development in such a way that it prematurely creates within a child a false sense of self-reliance. In his own thinking, the child becomes self-sufficient even before the needed self-control is being established. This was happening because such a philosophy is granting freedoms beyond the child’s ability to manage those freedoms. Self-reliance apart from self-discipline could be such a destructive influence on young children.
- Child-centered parenting could foster family independence, not family interdependence. When a child perceives himself to be the center of the family universe too often grows into selfish independence. Family independence, rather than family interdependence, becomes his way of life making him a lonely person. Parents should bear in mind that independence could rob their child of the opportunity to invest in relationships.
With the absence of relational investment, there’s no reason why family loyalty should exist. Other people like parents, siblings, peers, relatives, and friends matter only to the extent that advantages are gained by maintaining relationships. What a child is getting out of relationships, rather than what he can give, forms the basis of his loyalty. This child-centered parenting is fostering such a conclusion.
- Child-centered parenting could magnify conflicting potentials between the natural way of the child and his need for moral conformity. What’s more is that it could even create propensities toward negative behavior that would either force and child into an adversarial relationship; or in forcing parents to abandon any reasonable standard of moral accountability.
- Child-centered parenting is not proactive, but reactive in nature. Preventing crises in a child’s life is far more superior than just to react to them. As a parent, you would notice how easily child-centered parenting could creep into your day.
But there are ways in which you could meet all your child’s physical and emotional needs without being child-centered. Protecting your marriage is one thing; you have got to work continually at protecting such a relationship you had with your spouse. The other one is to have such a right perspective about the significance of such a relationship; it is the springboard for healthy parent-child relationships.