How to teach your child to deal with a bully

My soon-to-be four years old son tries to hit the punching bag.

Most of us may probably have experienced being bullied by someone at some point in our life. Bullies exist and they could be anyone regardless of age, race, and gender.

But what is bullying and why there are bullies? Who do bullies pick on?

Bullying is defined as the repeated physical, verbal, social or psychological aggressive behavior by a person or group directed toward a less powerful person or group. It is intended to cause harm, distress or fear. In other words, bullying is all about intimidating others to inflict such a physical or emotional pain.

Psychologists agree that bullies are most likely the ones to have very low self-esteem. They lack empathy and having such an increasing need to dominate others.

Bullying may just be an unintentional act, with preschoolers especially, of a child who tries to master his or her social basic skills as well as to figure out how he or she could manage his or her own emotions. But once the child crosses the threshold by which he or she is obviously making his or her actions intentional and by making them habitual is why it’s considered a prelude to his or her becoming a bully.

Bullying could cause traumatic consequences to the victims and it has become an increasing threat to children.

Dealing with your child’s bully is all up to you as a parent. Be wary and always try looking out for signs that something is bothering him or her.  Encourage your child to open up by telling you about problems he or she has had encountered with other kids.  Here’s how to teach your child to deal with a bully:

  • Teach your child to show confidence in his or her own self. Tell him or her to make eye contact to his or her bully. Eye contact is one way of sending a message to the other person. Tell your child to be gentle and ask his or her bully what it is he or she was angered for.
  • Be a supportive parent to your child. Let your child know you believe in him or her. That’s one way to build his or her self-confidence. Make your child feel the warmth of your love and that you truly care for him or her.
  • Teach your child to be patient. Patience is a virtue. Tell your child that no matter how he or she is being attacked, to fight back, more often than not, is not the best solution. Teach him or her to walk away whenever he or she could and seek the help of any trusted adults or a teacher.
  • Teach your child to be friendly. Making friends with the bully, if it is possible, is one way to stop a bully from bullying your son or daughter.
  • Talk to your child’s teacher. Tell the teacher that your child was being harassed so as to create awareness concerning the problem that needs to be addressed right away.
  • Contact the offender’s parents. This is only when there are persistent acts of intimidation, and when you’re sure and confident you could make these parents cooperate with you.

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