How Our Emotional Reactions As Parents Affect the Child’s Behavior

nathanielwithyana
My five-year-old son Nathaniel with his cousin Yana.

There are times when I asked myself this question: How should I deal with my impatient preschooler? And every time I tried to expound on a hope to find an answer, it always point me back. Nathaniel just turned five last August and is sometimes impatient about some things. I had to deal with the fact that he, like most preschoolers, lives fully at the moment and thinking about what he wants right now is something that I have to be patient about because it is something that he can observe and learn a lot from.

And when, unintentionally, I could equate his impatience with impatience, I realize that I need to have some soul searching to do. I know that the moment I experience non-rational, intense, and mystifying reactions to certain encounters or experiences with my five-year-old son, that’s a sign that I need to ask my own self some questions. I had to deal, for the most part, with a question like this: Why did I react that way?

I need to be patient with my son’s impatience. I shall understand that at age five, like most children his age, he is still developing self-control and that much explains why tantrums often erupt when he does not get instant gratification. I know that when I get angry as a reaction to my son’s impatience, it may or may not indicate a problem in him, but it says a lot about me.

He should see me as a good role model. It must start with me. Because I know if I want him to grow up calm, cool, and collected, then I must keep this thing in my head at all times. I know, too, that what I am going to tell him becomes what he hears in his head.

My son is offering me a chance for self-discovery while I am discovering who he is. He is still learning everything and experiencing. He is still gathering specific information, discovering. In that sense, I can’t expect him to be flawless.

While many people may think that parenting is all about messy feeding times, changing diapers, chasing a screaming child, and so on, they really do not know what goes beyond what is considered as one of the most important jobs in the world. Parenting requires more than just providing the basic needs to survive, it goes beyond the surface. Parenting is about mastering the art of influencing.

Parents need, as expected, to be the best influencers their children can look at, for the good. How a child becomes and how he or she creates his or her personality is all affected with the way that parents are interacting with their children. Parents should always be there to support their children, but sometimes physical presence is not enough.

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