What is anger? How are you going to contain it when you’re at the point of exploding? As a parent, how are you going to respond to a frustration of some sort concerning your child?
Contrary to what many people may be thinking or believing about anger as something that is destructive and dangerous, it is, actually and in fact, a positive emotion. Why? Because it could protect people from actual or anticipated danger.
As a parent, you don’t always have to suppress anger. When anger is suppressed, there’s a great chance that passion would atrophy, and your child could become a victim of many dangerous circumstances as a result.
In spite of the fact that in situations considered as non-intimate, anger could be a sort of protection, in situations that are intimate, between parent and child or between couples, anger should be looked upon as a protest against separation or the deprivation of one’s needs.
A child may ask his mom, for example, on why has she gone so much or why has she stopped talking to him, which should be interpreted as an attempt for a child in satisfying a need and in the restoration of connection as well. Once anger is left uncontained, it sabotages a desired outcome. On the other hand, when anger is contained and appropriately expressed, a desired goal would be achieved.
When a parent is angry at his child or when a child is angry at his parent, emotional injury is a real possibility. Most parents, including myself sometimes, are tempted to suppress their children’s anger and express their own. This is where most parents could get wrong believing it’s something they have a right to do and their children do not.
Take note that anger does not have to be prohibited or suppressed. Both the parent and child should be learning to express it through a dialogue. Once they start to talk about it sincerely and to try to do something about it, it does not only resolve an issue but deepening the bond between parent and child as well.